and

this gem by serj tankian (the singer of system of a down ...) here, from his first solo album "elect the dead". the video is directed by lebanese/armenian/american director gariné torossian whose first feature length documentary "stone time touch" was shown in the 2007 international forum of new cinema. i love how she treats the material.

wayward

how fantastic tsai ming liang depicts the characters' state of feeling and mind is beyond words which are so rarely (i think there is one actual spoken dialogue consisting of two lines) used besides in the lyrics of the enigmatically and beautifully campy songs. this film smashes my all every time i see it.

now.

for a.s.
then, when it happened, 2009

how you'll find me anywhere

4.55% i need another world
4.55% leatherchapsbln
2.27% i need another world, this ones nearly gone
2.27% man tänker sitt
2.27% i need another world this one is nearly gone
2.27% mueck and baudrillard
1.14% i went to the house but did not enter analysis
1.14% exciting facts
1.14% wow sunglasses
1.14% i need another place another world this one is nearly gone
1.14% i need another place
1.14% when i was a child / i bred a whore in my heart
1.14% metzitza-bapey
1.14% bukkake sunglasses
1.14% i bred a whore in my heart
1.14% beta test what a difference a day makes
1.14% i need another world... this one’s nearly gone
1.14% i need another world,this ones nearly gone
1.14% i need another place this one is nearly gone
1.14% i need another world this one gone
1.14% i need another world, this one's nearly gone
1.14% i was a child i was a child lyrics
1.14% i need another world this one
1.14% i need another world this one's nearly gone
1.14% metzitza bapey
1.14% will there be peace i need another world this one's nearly gone still have to many dreams
1.14% the-madness-of-the-day blanchot i am not learned
1.14% i am again at the bottom of an unstoppable wheel, and when i feel my eyes close for death, as they have and will a thousand times, i awake
1.14% don't punish me for wanting your love inside me
1.14% read real death threats
1.14% facts and figures about ghosts

so, a quick personality check-up: heading for facts and figures about ghosts - me. real real death threats, too and while you're at it - need another world, and i'll be there as well, wearing my sunglasses in a bukkake session with leatherchapsbln and baudrillard and mueck, who might just be enjoying a little metziza bapey with mueck asking baudrillard to not punish him for wanting his love inside him. in a corner of the room there will also be a red haired kid moving through the woods in his mind to choir singing about the madness of the day and secretly thinking that he was a child but that his childhood was taken away or it thinks: i am again at the bottom of an unstoppable wheel, and when i feel my eyes close for death, as they have and will a thousand times, i awake.
yes, but in fact, you did not really look for me and then if you did - you went to the house but did not enter - how very anarchist of you!



i keep forgetting the whore in the heart ...

so, the hours are floating ...

philip glass reverberating through my flat. also, i think of lady & bird and that naturally makes me sad and not as serene as the one of too many facebook quizzes i recently took tries to tell me.

i'm wasting the hours floating in my bed
and placing sunflowers over my head
you're facing the doorway waiting for a sign
to stop me in some way from crossing the line



yesterday i watched a sad movie.



and then i realized, much later, how i lack reaction.

so, the hours are floating ...

somehow

when what
i say
is
only
that what makes the least sense
then
what
oh the great
what i say
and say is
the least
and
also
i tend to say
things
that seem to be
oh the great
seem to be
oh the great
seem to be
great
but
yes
it makes no difference
and i did not
mute
myself
but
later
oh the great

and then
shattered

on
and
on

goes oh the great

and then there is water left
with salt
and it only leaves my eyes

for you.

unveiled and feeding the hungry leopard

kader attia's ghost




sun yuan's and peng yu's old persons home

after a little vacation in sunny london and cambridge i am back here and find myself facing the fact of having lost a majority of my intellectual property (...). anyhow, england was gorgeous, clearly demonstrated by the display of yet another fabulous levi's ad (see below) that (partly) did not make it to berlin (as of yet) and the (see above) unveiled exhibition in saatchi gallery in their fancyful building near sloane square.

















basically, i was relaxing, enjoying the lovely weather, meeting nice people, catching up with old friends, reading - holidays in a very nice sense of the word! as i did in the picture below in hammersmith with luci, audrey and adrian after a long and beautiful walk through richmond, kew and chiswick. actually walking was what i did a lot, also in regent's park, in the docklands, battersea park, mayfair and beloved soho.

exciting facts and figures

i will list the last weeks' highlights.

number of goodbyes: 23
number of drinks on the occasions: too many
number of cigarettes on the occasion: far too many. but that does not mean i am not still a non-smoker as certain actions require certain measures.
number of job-offers: 5
number of films i saw: i'll try and list them later
number of episodes of mad men: 18
number of episodes of germany's next topmodel: 3
number of people that were at alfredo's dinner: 10
number of 3 portuguese people who could sing their national anthem: 3
number of 2 french-canadian people who could sing their national anthem: 2
number of 3 german people who could sing their national anthem: 0
number of 1 dutch person who could sing their national anthem: 1/2
number of chicken i cooked: 1
number of hearts i did hopefully not break: 2
number of moments i wish i would have kissed somebody: 7
number of times the words zizek and fuck appeared in the same sexually connotated sentence: 3

number of numbing numbers so far: 16 or 77 1/2
number of those numbers that were actually not numbing but nice: 43

43 nice things. great.

the day i met a really nice busdriver

over the hiccups by negativland.

unlistlessness

a - great deal of things were nice
b - ut i missed
c - olouring my own
d - reams and
e - nigmas and
f - inishing things the way i like
g - ood in fact was the
h - ermetic feeling, or not,
i - nside but not too
j - oyful at times
k - i said to myself
l - et it not get to you too much
m - emories of how things had happened before did
n - ot stop me from making the same mistakes again
o - ver and over
p - lease, i said to myself
q - uit
r - idiculing yourself
s - omeday there will be moments without
t - ension. moments of
u - nbelievable calm. and behind my
v - eil i
w - ished for
x - rays i could use for screening
y - our thoughts and hearts
z - oom into them for details

dancing with myself

dancing with myself
Berlin, February 16th 2009

Postaktionales Brennen

Postaktionales Brennen
February 13th 2009

of soul power and fig trees, maybe

met m. today for a screening of fig trees, a sort of opera-documentary about hiv/aids and activism in the fight against it that structurally worked as a opera and/or musical. pretty much unsure of what to make of it.

i see (well, obviously i see ...) the poignant wish to depict difficult topics as something cynically, or not even that, perhaps only humorously, wrapped. i felt that the tendency to do that was also there in השמצה/defamation. generally there is not much to be held against this but my own feeling of sickness while watching it in a room full of people who seemed to think that a group of israeli students in front of the "arbeit macht frei"-gate posing for a keepsake, not saying "chesse" but a chorus-"auschwitz", was an uproariously funny joke. actually i really liked the movie but found watching it in the cinema rather difficult, but maybe that is part of the process of thinking about it.

later tonight we saw soul power. this was just wonderful and such a joyful experience. incredibly well mastered sound met depictions of soul legends that nowadays could not possibly be filmed.

berlinale will all be over soonish. i can't say i am as relieved by the prospect as maybe i would rationally rather be. well, but then again we have a lot of exiting things ahead of us still, as of tomorrow the filmic oevre by ludwig schönherr will be shown for the first time in public.

i can now sign my posts as an academic. i only will have to convince the prüfungsbüro about the necessity of getting rid of that A.

saw man tänker sitt again.