communication

grmmmrrppps
grrrrrmmmpppps
ggggrmmmpssssssss

in my very little ear
there is the voice
the voice i hear

and in my little heart
there is a solid wall
a solid little wall and hard

and on this solid little wall
there sits a bird
a bird screams: "fall"

grmmmrrppps
grrrrrmmmpppps
ggggrmmmpssssssss

and oddly relieved i feel
when i hear i don't see
don't see how you seal

how you seal of your own
your own little heart
and my heart again alone

and the little bird still sings
and sings and wants to fly
and sitting i will be on its wings

grmmmrrppps
grrrrrmmmpppps
ggggrmmmpssssssss

food art and maximalized minimal pleasure

incidentally, i really like that stuff, otherwise i wouldn't have posted.

---

yesterday must have been one extraordinary day. i went to see a performance and i adored it! long time no see. it was a concert performance installation of art collective lose combo called braun light and it merged heiner müller's bildbeschreibung, morton feldman's why patterns? and a sound- and lightscape of transcendent quality. we sat in a big square room that had an upperfloor gallery where light patterns haunted the air. wooden chairs were placed loosely around a rather big box made of copper through which you could also walk and see the performers sitting inside behind woven copper. a huge wall was used as a projection screen that also mirrored in the box's surface. additionally there have been the musicians of trio nexus - piano, flute and percussion. it was beautiful beyond belief. sitting there in a strange untimed time and letting the images slowly come and leave. the installation wanted so little of me, that's how i felt. it gave options and let me be. i often closed my eyes and just listened to the sounds or would find myself being drawn into blurred lightpatterns in the box's surface. it was seductive in a sense that it, be it the music, the sounds, the light or the reading voices, cracked open something inside me that is rarely seen by myself - i let myself be. in a sense i was floating in a sea of associations that conquered a strangely timeless or other-timed space. all that was done had a quality of just being there, emerging and going without necessarily forcing me to attach some kind of meaning or representational form of thought. now, that is something exciting! i loved it.

---

now something that sounds so very important i always had the urge to say or write it: i started shooting my new film. the working title is eiszeit. can't say more now but i am really excited.

גוט מארגן

איך גריס ייך םיינע כברים

intense

one of the seemingly most intense and beautiful moments i recently had, has been sitting in the tel aviv airport smoking lounge at 8 in the morning after a sleepness night and travelling from jerusalem to the airport in a bus full of haredim. sun flooded the room in which a couple of people on their own enjoyed a cigarette, the calm and minded their own business. i sat on a chair, stretched my legs and put on air's la femme d'argent. meanwhile planes arrived and left for their destinations. heading forward to catch the sun - maybe.

incredible things do happen!

imagine this: let's say ohrenbrausen has a valueable electronic device amongst many. think mac book pro. those things stored in the car get stolen from that car in berlin mitte on one sad afternoon. now, after reporting to the police ohrenbrausen's parked car, now in berlin kreuzberg gets cracked open again and other lovely devices find a new owner. now sad sad sad. think very sad and awfully bad. devastating in a way. now think you wanna go buy a new mac book pro and think why not have a look what ebay offers. now think you find your own mac book pro on ebay a little less than two weeks after the incident offered to you by some lovely person who also offers a whole bunch of other things. two hours after ohrenbrausen reports this to the police they find an amazingly big store of reportedly stolen electronic devices. ohrenbrausen is now with old mac book pro.

---

re: incredible things: it certainly has not slipped your honoured attention that those five professional favourites i named in one of the first posts on germany's next topmodel are still high in the ranking of beloved heidi, rolf and peyman, has it? and certainly no one can doubt that vanessa and jennifer are still gorgeous beyond belief. has anyone else realized that vanessa looks not unlike clementine ford, daugther of cybill sheperd, who plays molly kroll in the l word season 5? and what, by the way shall we think about that? anyone adele-bashing? with the 6th season being announced as the ending there are still some stories to be told. for being secretly the star - shane has the last frame of season 5 :)
well, now, vanessa and jennifer. one who has brains (she is also enrolled in mathematics, just as last year's barbara. isn't that just great, and it's maths year in germany, screams very loud does it not?) and one who actually has the body and face and age of a to-be-soon-called-topmodel. she is just the apparently only sane choice an agent would do, certainly only on a professional level, i know, and there won't be the most professional choice. let's just hope vanessa and her will be there much longer. and wanda, too. christina looked like juliane moore in that naked shooting did she not. if anyone by any chance wants to go bashing around, join the "gisele and carolin suck so terribly hard"-club. in some earlier post i spoke briefly about hackfressen - now there are two images for that. which says nothing about their beauty or whatever you might like about them. both being not exactly what i would find beautiful or even handsome, i couldn't care less, but let's face it, they're just bashable, without even speaking i want to hurt them really bad. bad.

---

i am learning yiddish now and found a wonderful page about it here. i am getting better letter by letter :) and it's huge fun reading children's books.

shall we say

that this book had a certain impact?
it's not easy to say whether or not it really is to my liking. or is it, well i guess, it's not that i don't like it. seriously though, i wouldn't say it's too earthshattering in the bigger picture. but it's still nice to see that literature can have consequences, right?

should i?

why is being back always the most difficult part?

i am here, back in berlin, since monday. still feel out of place a little and compensated that with intensive shopping. it feels strange. but the weeks i've spent in jerusalem somehow had a wonderful impact on me. i met great people (sali and shalom to you) and saw things that were strange, beautiful, incredible, breathtaking, horrible and fascinating.

i cannot even recall all of what has happened. first big impression was for sure eh's short hair ;).

next, passing borders through a fence to visit salvatorian sisters in emaos and surely you have heard of dm's and my hilarious performance during the catholic service. i drank so much, skipped the sacrament and went to the loo.

oh and there was a sunrise above jordan. beautiful, really.

the shuk i spent hours strolling on i seriously miss. how can you not with the baker always flirting with you, wonderful snacks and strawberries that scream of being mashed to marmelade. that was actually my first time on the marmelade front and i must say my grandma would have been proud. the sirup was later turned into delicious liqour and troubled me a little whilst saying goodbye to wonderful i.

tel aviv and its beach made the whole nose dilemma start i guess, since that day with w and e at the beach it never left me and was supplemented by a wonderfully reddish shade on my chin caused by intensive snogging. well, i can always blame it on the water and its high concentration of whatever.

hebron. what can i say. it still troubles me. we went there with an organization called breaking the silence which basically are ex-soldiers who did their military service in the territories. this curfew thing that makes whole parts of cities die just for the sake or safety of some settlers who have no other problem than claiming land as their own and fighting arabs that lived there since whenever. it was really hard to see how those palestinian families struggle. in a way i felt a huge guilt and wondered many times whether or not the obvious radicalization of haredi or settler people might not be a result of the shoah. i don't know and probably no one can tell but i felt guilty. it should be on everyone's agenda to do such a visit to the territories. it's sick.

mea shearim. what an out of space feeling you can get here. on our first visit we went as a group of six, dressed modestly, walked seperately women and men and still were sent away after a bunch of little kids started yelling at us. i went back a week later because i seriously wanted to just walk around there, get an impression, maybe understand. it turned out that besides some gloomy eyes nothing and nobody took notice of me and i could walk around a bit. it is irritating to see the living conditions to say the least. i felt so out of place. whenever i met somebody's eyes i looked down as if i was in intruder, which i obviously have been. i wish it was just irritation that meets strangers and not hatred. especially with the little children that is just too sad to even think about. it's such a seemingly closed and 'old-fashioned' world. i really am sorry that i can't speak hebrew. yiddish is fine when i hear it but i really should go on starting to improve my reading skills.

israel is a wonderful place were it not for the steady tension that you can feel whereever you might go. jerusalem with all its different cultures and people is such an inspiring place. i don't know how to describe it properly and if there is even a basis of that thought. but, in a way the (perhaps not even existing) steady danger and tension makes you appreciate things and people and situations more. it was often that i found myself thinking and feeling that whatever i was doing that i did it for the sake of being joyful or happy or appreciative in that particular moment of time. in a word - living. i often felt that i (or the world) could always stop whenever it was not that fulfillment any longer. that is a great thing and clears your thought and awareness. we are spending so much time doing things halfheartedly or without passion, just as an obligation. why that is i can't say but i guess it might just be that this particular feeling is making me feel so depressed for a lot of my time. i can't bring myself to do all the things i do passionately, who can?, but why do i bother, why do i need to bother with crap that earns me a living, people that can kiss my ass, why do i really need to spend time on things and people i feel nothing for? well.

thankfully we also did a trip to the desert, wadi qelt and st. george monastery. the desert so impressed me. i loved every second of being there. and the dead sea! how incredible to be floating on the lowest point on that planet.

i am glad i went to that beautiful place and thankful for the people i met and could spend time with.

from alev to taf:

a - arnon street, what a lovely place to live
b - bethlehem, for the broiler and the little shop
c - christians who cannot stop singing glorification songs that make me feel even less holier
d - doors i could not open. deserts i walked through
e - eating. you can, seriously can, spend much time on eating
f - fucking. dito. :) ah, and falafel.
g - genderbending and haredim. seems not to be the best combination
h - hebron
i - i. why is it always in other countries
j - jerusalem is a city i fell in love with
k - kosher i ate only once at the shabat dinner of a who made a great impression on me
l - leilatov
m - mea shearim. how is life behind that walls i wonder?
n - nights with people, drinks, cigarettes and laughing
o - open is not one store in west-jerusalem on shabat. the east is beautiful, too
p - peyots - i love them, especially red.
r - red. you better not wear. especially with noses and chins.
s - snoods. some are actually looking nice. remember: take of jewish headgear when entering arab bazar or there will be no service for you
t - tel aviv. must go back, only saw the beach. and bars.
u - understanding hebrew is difficult but at least you can pretend understanding because of a seemingly close sound that it has to german
v - ventilators we didn't need. and visa only for more than three months
w - wadi qelt. imagine living there
x - x-rays might have destroyed my films. at least now i saw the prints they're all blurry and smoky
y - you all that made my vacation wonderful
z - zero. coke. and also rien, rien de rien. non, je ne regrette rien.

lehitraoth.

karlotta. currently based in jerusalem

i have spent the last week in israel and saw a lot of things. what i saw can be found here.
what i felt is another story. i am irritated, excited, curious ... incredulous. i like it a lot :)

more later on.

quotation 1*

seriously, it's just depressing. ... i've done so much. and accomplished so little. ... it's a little ridiculous. but. i don't know how to deal with it. i talked so fast that i exhausted my heart.

how i can relate to you, graham.

finally - how politics may change your sexdrive

it has happened. you can now never again say that no one placed political ads in phonesexy situations.
please submit a script if you feel like i should audition (there is still this job opportunity i so long to have) and i promise i will be just as good as these two. or even more kinky. how does that sound?













MATURE content following. i am serious.













NOW












for obamaists



for the clintonists amongst us





***

well, the world is a wild place at the moment. don't know where to start. but i really feel that today's news are truly exciting.

Merkel hält historische Rede vor der Knesset
"Die Sicherheit Israels ist nie verhandelbar"
(first fi-li, then angie, then me)

Analyse zum Israel-Besuch von Kanzlerin Merkel
"Eine neue Qualität der Beziehungen"

Auswirkungen der Finanzkrise
US-Notenbank senkt erneut den Leitzins
(whyever)

Interview mit Ifo-Chef Hans-Werner Sinn
"Es muss eine strengere Bankenaufsicht her"
(i would always argue for a strict non-interfering-policy)

Koalitionsverhandlungen in Hamburg
Arbeitsgruppen sollen schwarz-grüne Streitthemen lösen
(nice)

Arbeitsminister Scholz will BGB ändern
Praktikanten sollen besser geschützt werden
(very likely not going to happen)

Dalai Lama fordert Ende der Gewalt in Tibet
"Mir bliebe nur der Rücktritt"
( :( )

Halbfinale des DFB-Pokals
Carl Zeiss Jena träumt vom Sieg über Borussia Dortmund
(Bayern lost to Cottbus... haha)

Urteil des Bundesverfassungsgericht
Presse darf auch den Promi-Alltag zeigen
(rightly so, i want puke of miss beazley sick with pregnancy. barney's puppy, that's for sure)

Warnstreiks im Einzelhandel
10.000 Beschäftigte streiken für mehr Lohn

really nice:

after germany's next topmodel no3

firstly, let me thank my audience for being so supportive. thank you. thank you. i would never have guessed to receive an award because of being able to predict professional modeling choices. right. thank you. see, i told you (with ruc) that vanessa is special. well, we'll see. i am getting more interested in jennifer, whereas raquel loses some points for me.
and because the world is such a terrrible place and i lack sleep and food at this specific moment in time:

loved:
vanessa.
jennifer.

hated:
gisele.
sophia.

personal braindamage from earlier post turned out to be miss penthouse. she is now a naked braindamage which is no professional education i would not consider. why not, it could just be having a great time.

it was funny to talk to colleagues from university about gnt.

***

hackfresse and kotzbrocken are two ethymologically highly interesting and appropriate topics for this blog. this is why i wrote this last sentence.

***

so, homi k. bhaba was in berlin. at the re-imagining asia exhibition in the haus der kulturen der welt and he gave a keynote on "global memory. on barbaric transmission". his lecture was inspiring and at times truly engaging. and i think that his stressing the "past that is not going to die and a future that will not wait to be born" are a kind of nice way to characterize the human condition and the responsibilities that face each and everyone of us.

***

spent two hours talking about one painting of yl with yl.


***

second gig with marwell was marwellous. there were sk, fs, c?, fj, ruc, sf, cm, yl, nb. i liked that a lot :) thank you for coming. hang out afterwards with future management in freizeitheim and june in prenzlauer berg.

***

recently on myspace i found out that the roosters are now stalin vs. band. hh is looking his usual naughty standards which brings me to this:



***

am now about to have another slice of bread and envy organic food of present flatmates. later mini-break in saxony. suddenly feel like screengoddess in manner of grace kelly, though ever so slightly less elegant under pressure (which, basically is as nice a quotation as "i used to wanna change the world, now i just wanna leave the room with a little dignity (adorable justin bond in SHORTBUS - amazing. found my future occupation. am not about to tell which one - but give it a guess)). and - a mini-break is not just shagging. a mini-break means true love. looking forward to round belly, whiteish hair, otto and riverside, although it is just too little time.

***

have i ever actually

declared my undying love for katie sketch?
no?
yeah, no.
well - i love her!



and she has this new project - the mermaids - after the organ's end and this is say you're alive recorded during the seemingly unique performance in last october:



here we go, once again, for love love love by the organ: