i will begin to mine

Posted: Sunday, 29 November 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , 0 comments

i will begin to mine
November 29th 2009

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. I drink at it; but while I drink I see the sandy bottom and detect how shallow it is. Its thin current slides away, but eternity remains. I would drink deeper; fish in the sky, whose bottom is pebbly with stars. I cannot count one. I know not the first letter of the alphabet. I have always been regretting that I was not as wise as the day I was born. The intellect is a cleaver; it discerns and rifts its way into the secret of things. I do not wish to be any more busy with my hands than is necessary. My head is hands and feet. I feel all my best faculties concentrated in it. My instinct tells me that my head is an organ for burrowing, as some creatures use their snout and fore paws, and with it I would mine and burrow my way through these hills. I think that the richest vein is somewhere hereabouts; so by the divining-rod and thin rising vapors I judge; and here I will begin to mine.

H. D. Thoreau Walden


Posted: Tuesday, 18 August 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: 5 comments

august 18th 2009

ripl pics

Posted: Monday, 10 August 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , 0 comments

the latest festival pics i took can be found amongst many like these


meet lenor.

Posted: Thursday, 30 July 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: 0 comments

one video of one situation lars and i have installed with "rabenkinder" during hörspielfest altzella. big thanks to the organisational team of the festival! and for invaluable support thanks to my parents, sylvia arnhold, angelika diedrigkeit, stefan heyn, susann starke and thomas starke/probau kugel.


Posted: Tuesday, 30 June 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: 0 comments

i shall keep you posted on our installation in the magical park.

route from berlin

the tragedies of late june

Posted: Friday, 26 June 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , , 0 comments

- a wine that is incredibly good but not appreciated.
- the lack of interest for the weather with politically concerned individuals of my acquaintance
- the incapability of last.fm and my ipod to scrobble my playlists. which in fact means 200 turns less of patrick wolf's "the bachelor" than i actually listened to.
- billionaires that are impolite
- drunkards that are impolite
- billionaires and drunkards in the same place and hardly different in a crowd of impoliteness.
- the politically concerned hazard of a digital bohème that suddenly lives in tehran and is all green.
- the death of kings and angels. and seeing how many people suddenly are religious monarchists whilst not saying that this is not a good thing under the circumstances.

and a fairytale. just for you.

märchen eins

may 25th 2009

portobello beach, scotland

Posted: Tuesday, 9 June 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: 0 comments

nobody will know

June 4th 2009, Portobello Beach, Scotland.


Posted: Friday, 5 June 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , 2 comments

more photos taken by the person in that picture

here photographed by that person

who actually is the photographer of this band

can be seen amongst many like this


die zärtliche gleichgültigkeit der welt

Posted: Monday, 1 June 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , , 0 comments

die zärtliche gleichgültigkeit der welt
june 1st 2009

Als hätte diese große Wut mich vom Bösen geläutert, von Hoffnung entleert, öffnete ich mich angesichts dieser Nacht voller Zeichen und Sterne zum ersten Mal der zärtlichen Gleichgültigkeit der Welt. Als ich spürte, wie ähnlich sie mir war, wie brüderlich letzten Endes, habe ich gefühlt, dass ich glücklich gewesen war und dass ich es noch war. Damit sich alles erfüllte, damit ich mich weniger allein fühlte, brauchte ich nur zu wünschen, dass am Tag meiner Hinrichtung viele Zuschauer da sein würden und dass sie mich mit Schreien des Hasses empfangen.

Albert Camus Der Fremde

still from my new project - baby, i will kill you in the park


Posted: Friday, 8 May 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , 0 comments

this gem by serj tankian (the singer of system of a down ...) here, from his first solo album "elect the dead". the video is directed by lebanese/armenian/american director gariné torossian whose first feature length documentary "stone time touch" was shown in the 2007 international forum of new cinema. i love how she treats the material.


Posted: | Posted by k | Labels: 0 comments

how fantastic tsai ming liang depicts the characters' state of feeling and mind is beyond words which are so rarely (i think there is one actual spoken dialogue consisting of two lines) used besides in the lyrics of the enigmatically and beautifully campy songs. this film smashes my all every time i see it.


Posted: Thursday, 30 April 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: 0 comments

for a.s.
then, when it happened, 2009

how you'll find me anywhere

Posted: Wednesday, 29 April 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , 0 comments

4.55% i need another world
4.55% leatherchapsbln
2.27% i need another world, this ones nearly gone
2.27% man tänker sitt
2.27% i need another world this one is nearly gone
2.27% mueck and baudrillard
1.14% i went to the house but did not enter analysis
1.14% exciting facts
1.14% wow sunglasses
1.14% i need another place another world this one is nearly gone
1.14% i need another place
1.14% when i was a child / i bred a whore in my heart
1.14% metzitza-bapey
1.14% bukkake sunglasses
1.14% i bred a whore in my heart
1.14% beta test what a difference a day makes
1.14% i need another world... this one’s nearly gone
1.14% i need another world,this ones nearly gone
1.14% i need another place this one is nearly gone
1.14% i need another world this one gone
1.14% i need another world, this one's nearly gone
1.14% i was a child i was a child lyrics
1.14% i need another world this one
1.14% i need another world this one's nearly gone
1.14% metzitza bapey
1.14% will there be peace i need another world this one's nearly gone still have to many dreams
1.14% the-madness-of-the-day blanchot i am not learned
1.14% i am again at the bottom of an unstoppable wheel, and when i feel my eyes close for death, as they have and will a thousand times, i awake
1.14% don't punish me for wanting your love inside me
1.14% read real death threats
1.14% facts and figures about ghosts

so, a quick personality check-up: heading for facts and figures about ghosts - me. real real death threats, too and while you're at it - need another world, and i'll be there as well, wearing my sunglasses in a bukkake session with leatherchapsbln and baudrillard and mueck, who might just be enjoying a little metziza bapey with mueck asking baudrillard to not punish him for wanting his love inside him. in a corner of the room there will also be a red haired kid moving through the woods in his mind to choir singing about the madness of the day and secretly thinking that he was a child but that his childhood was taken away or it thinks: i am again at the bottom of an unstoppable wheel, and when i feel my eyes close for death, as they have and will a thousand times, i awake.
yes, but in fact, you did not really look for me and then if you did - you went to the house but did not enter - how very anarchist of you!

i keep forgetting the whore in the heart ...

so, the hours are floating ...

Posted: Saturday, 18 April 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , 0 comments

philip glass reverberating through my flat. also, i think of lady & bird and that naturally makes me sad and not as serene as the one of too many facebook quizzes i recently took tries to tell me.

i'm wasting the hours floating in my bed
and placing sunflowers over my head
you're facing the doorway waiting for a sign
to stop me in some way from crossing the line

yesterday i watched a sad movie.

and then i realized, much later, how i lack reaction.

so, the hours are floating ...


Posted: Thursday, 2 April 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , , 0 comments

when what
i say
that what makes the least sense
oh the great
what i say
and say is
the least
i tend to say
that seem to be
oh the great
seem to be
oh the great
seem to be
it makes no difference
and i did not
oh the great

and then


goes oh the great

and then there is water left
with salt
and it only leaves my eyes

for you.

unveiled and feeding the hungry leopard

Posted: Thursday, 26 March 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , , , 0 comments

kader attia's ghost

sun yuan's and peng yu's old persons home

after a little vacation in sunny london and cambridge i am back here and find myself facing the fact of having lost a majority of my intellectual property (...). anyhow, england was gorgeous, clearly demonstrated by the display of yet another fabulous levi's ad (see below) that (partly) did not make it to berlin (as of yet) and the (see above) unveiled exhibition in saatchi gallery in their fancyful building near sloane square.

basically, i was relaxing, enjoying the lovely weather, meeting nice people, catching up with old friends, reading - holidays in a very nice sense of the word! as i did in the picture below in hammersmith with luci, audrey and adrian after a long and beautiful walk through richmond, kew and chiswick. actually walking was what i did a lot, also in regent's park, in the docklands, battersea park, mayfair and beloved soho.

exciting facts and figures

Posted: Friday, 6 March 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: 0 comments

i will list the last weeks' highlights.

number of goodbyes: 23
number of drinks on the occasions: too many
number of cigarettes on the occasion: far too many. but that does not mean i am not still a non-smoker as certain actions require certain measures.
number of job-offers: 5
number of films i saw: i'll try and list them later
number of episodes of mad men: 18
number of episodes of germany's next topmodel: 3
number of people that were at alfredo's dinner: 10
number of 3 portuguese people who could sing their national anthem: 3
number of 2 french-canadian people who could sing their national anthem: 2
number of 3 german people who could sing their national anthem: 0
number of 1 dutch person who could sing their national anthem: 1/2
number of chicken i cooked: 1
number of hearts i did hopefully not break: 2
number of moments i wish i would have kissed somebody: 7
number of times the words zizek and fuck appeared in the same sexually connotated sentence: 3

number of numbing numbers so far: 16 or 77 1/2
number of those numbers that were actually not numbing but nice: 43

43 nice things. great.

the day i met a really nice busdriver

Posted: Sunday, 22 February 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: 0 comments

over the hiccups by negativland.


Posted: Saturday, 21 February 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , , 0 comments

a - great deal of things were nice
b - ut i missed
c - olouring my own
d - reams and
e - nigmas and
f - inishing things the way i like
g - ood in fact was the
h - ermetic feeling, or not,
i - nside but not too
j - oyful at times
k - i said to myself
l - et it not get to you too much
m - emories of how things had happened before did
n - ot stop me from making the same mistakes again
o - ver and over
p - lease, i said to myself
q - uit
r - idiculing yourself
s - omeday there will be moments without
t - ension. moments of
u - nbelievable calm. and behind my
v - eil i
w - ished for
x - rays i could use for screening
y - our thoughts and hearts
z - oom into them for details

dancing with myself

Posted: Tuesday, 17 February 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: 2 comments

dancing with myself
Berlin, February 16th 2009

Postaktionales Brennen

Posted: Friday, 13 February 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , 2 comments

Postaktionales Brennen
February 13th 2009

of soul power and fig trees, maybe

Posted: Wednesday, 11 February 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: 0 comments

met m. today for a screening of fig trees, a sort of opera-documentary about hiv/aids and activism in the fight against it that structurally worked as a opera and/or musical. pretty much unsure of what to make of it.

i see (well, obviously i see ...) the poignant wish to depict difficult topics as something cynically, or not even that, perhaps only humorously, wrapped. i felt that the tendency to do that was also there in השמצה/defamation. generally there is not much to be held against this but my own feeling of sickness while watching it in a room full of people who seemed to think that a group of israeli students in front of the "arbeit macht frei"-gate posing for a keepsake, not saying "chesse" but a chorus-"auschwitz", was an uproariously funny joke. actually i really liked the movie but found watching it in the cinema rather difficult, but maybe that is part of the process of thinking about it.

later tonight we saw soul power. this was just wonderful and such a joyful experience. incredibly well mastered sound met depictions of soul legends that nowadays could not possibly be filmed.

berlinale will all be over soonish. i can't say i am as relieved by the prospect as maybe i would rationally rather be. well, but then again we have a lot of exiting things ahead of us still, as of tomorrow the filmic oevre by ludwig schönherr will be shown for the first time in public.

i can now sign my posts as an academic. i only will have to convince the prüfungsbüro about the necessity of getting rid of that A.

saw man tänker sitt again.

of burrowing

Posted: | Posted by k | Labels: , , , 0 comments

going back from potsdamer platz to my flat tonight was rather strange. a sort of alertness found its way back into my brain (... actually i just wrote "may brain" ... maybe may then). i am glad it has, to be perfectly honest.

alert indeed i was some days ago by the picture that was, in a packet of posters, sent to the forum office and on display in its wrapping some hours. intrigued i thought that this must be my favourite movie of the programm. i never even knew, then, what it was about, by whom, etc. tonight i finally made it to a screening of man tänker sitt (burrowing) and can say i was rarely as moved as with this debut by fredrik wenzel, henrik hellström. this depiction of solitude/loneliness/vulnerability/subliminal violence was so modestly brilliant and breathtakingly shot. the character of sebastian, a young boy, leaves traces of his whimsical, 'naive' wisdom in the narrational structure by overvoices. feeling of being vulnerable oneself as a viewer because of the ordinariness of situations and places. structurally you might judge sebastian's way of looking at things as something that will pass, some wishful thinking - as in the notion of his hope that his own loneliness is something that might be dealt with later in his life as he sort of settles professionally, emotionally. this inert wish striked me as so human. the cinematography as one way of staging the seclusion was just wonderful. but then this paradox of this hope he maybe carries within himself for himself (?) clashes with the precise descriptions of everyday suburban horrors he gives.

writing this now makes me think i should have just said nothing as what i was going through during the screening was just beyond words. which in itself might be something that helps to sensually grasp the lack of humanness in human interactions. man tänker sitt, if i understood correctly, means something like "everybody has their own thoughts". we have. yes. we have.

the aforementioned "unification" during berlinale only goes so far. wondering how the area around potsdamer platz would actually look like seen from above. because additionally to a zillion posters and billboards comes a lighting strategy that sort of stars out from potsdamer platz through all the streets on which there is some berlinale-connected building. remarkable as usual - despite all those lamps being red the ones for talent campus are pink.

a red center, a beating heart of humanness or lack thereof.

all expanded

Posted: Saturday, 7 February 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , , , 0 comments

trying for the third time to start this post i realize that maybe there is nothing much to say besides stressing the notion of expanded in my current life.

lucky me shared a car for the openings on friday with team of forum expanded, stefanie, nanna and uli, expanded by barbara hammer and michael snow, later marie losier and sebastien sanz de santamaria. what i loved when i actually saw the exhibitions was pavel büchler at tanya leighton gallery and i am very much looking forward to being at the artist talk with them tomorrow. karoe goldt's piece in galerie antje wachs was sort of really sad. eyes die. i find that utterly disturbing.

a must see - ludwig schönherr. i love his work. the exhibiton (as the installation in filmhaus and the filmprogramm curated by marc siegel) in halle a/14 is really something else, seriously. anything structural/chaotic that resonates within you should call you to that place. and once you're there, have a closer look at bill viola's "transfiguration" in haunch of venison. it is beautiful beyond belief.

being 'inside' the festival as somebody working there makes me feel like michel de certeau again ... no kidding, looking down at potsdamer platz from the office is ridiculous sometimes and you wish corporate design was never created, though i do believe that this year's design is sort of sweet and subliminally very much fitting the notion of unified masses hustling down unified streets in their unified ways of feeling utterly busy and important.

but tv-man on super-big screen inside sony centre said "die stimmung ist gut am potsdamer platz".

i'll go get some sleep now and hopefully will dream of that summer day when there's nothing to do besides having eyes and heart open again. maybe there will be water, too, a lake with a view or a drenching curtain that'll transfigure me back into something b/w.

you can have a look at the other forum expanded events (films, exhibitions, performances, talks, tours ...) here. don't miss "farewell" by stefan zeyen in the black box at filmhaus! and - do enjoy marie losier's gorgeous "movie boxes".

oh bliss

Posted: Saturday, 17 January 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: , , 0 comments

two excellent new records on the shelf ...

the froosh's new lp the empyrean leaked. it is brilliant. oh so brilliant. so conceptual. so perfectly mastered. so brilliantly played. so brilliant. so surprisingly surprising.

to think how brilliant can one bass-line be: dark light

to cry with: song to the siren - what a cover!

antony and the johnsons' the crying light is difficult and beautiful. somehow and that seems weird the old material from the debut is rougher and edgier but still resonates within me far more than these songs here. it seems that the development through i am a bird now was to have structures that are most definitely less edgy. also i am not sure about the whole environment things to be perfectly honest. but - this is not to say that it is not beautiful. i think it is. but it needs replay, lots of replay. strangely enough. ha! and i will see them live in edinburgh :)

besides new music there are many things. many indeed.

i work with the forum expanded of the berlinale this year.

and - next weekend 23rd til 25th the margins student conference will take place at the institute for theatre studies at fu berlin. program on paradisaical states (paradiesische zustände) is online here. i will show an installation sui_site or how to disappear completely. please come and be with us.

that for now.

Posted: Sunday, 4 January 2009 | Posted by k | Labels: 4 comments

what began a drizzle leaves me bloody drenched now. i rather went to where there was only sun. i rather went to where there was no "i told you to", i rather went to where i wasn't going before. i never was on mars. no fools. no sailing. i could just go there. sail there. but there, unmistakably, is drenching rain. can i be on mars drenched? can i go to beauty shattered as i feel? never did this writing feel further away. i need to leave the drizzle.

you're totally beating up the wrong guy if you think that i have bad intentions. obviously.